Don't Let Me Go
by CrazyBowtieGirl
Summary: She was holding him close, her heart pressed against his two, trying to change the immutable fact that he was going to leave her again.


_And I feel so helpless here  
Watch my eyes are filled with fear_

"No, Doctor! Please…please… not _again!_" Clara said, the tears springing free from her resolve as the both of them stumbled into the TARDIS, the golden glow of the regeneration already surrounding the air, his body shadowed with it, making him look so beautiful, so much like a god.

And a god he was, to so many civilizations that he had saved, so many lives he had spared. Her clumsy chin boy, she would never forget the adventures that they go on.

_"WENT on" _she corrects herself, as she stares at his luminescent and dying body in her arms. She knows literally, that he is not dying, just his physical appearance being rewritten, all the memories and thoughts intact. However, to her, he _is _dying, her bowtie wearing, flustered and jumpy, and adorable time lord.

"Clara…Clara...Set me down, will you?" He is whispering in her ear, and she begins to set him down right there next to the TARDIS's console, but his voice is back saying "No, Not here, don't want to damage the TARDIS now right?" she tries to smile before the waterfall begins again, "In my room, Clara"

Any other day, any other moment, she would make a joke about his keenness on getting her into his room, watching as his ears turned that bright shade of scarlet and he fumbled around his words until he landed on his usual response to her innuendos, "But.. That... Oh shut up!"

…but it wasn't any other day, or any other moment, her Doctor was fading, and her small frame was holding him up as she led them to his room.

_I take a deep breath every time I pass your door_

She'd never been inside his room before, but walked past it many times, never daring to knock, not knowing what impossibilities would lay inside it, because it always seemed that the doctor never slept. But right now wasn't the time of hesitancy, and she was pushing open the blue door with her left shoulder, as the doctor lagged on her right, not caring how the surroundings looked like, only focusing on getting him to the giant king sized bed.

She set him down now, hovering above him, as she wiped his floppy hair off his forehead, her fingers tracing the outline of his face, as if to memorize it. The Doctor's breathing hitched as he felt her eyes taking him in, and he cursed himself on the cowardice of this body. So many things he had wanted to tell her, his impossible girl, never thinking that his time could run out in this version of him. But now it was, and he was even more afraid than before.

"I'm… I'm so sorry" were the words that spilt out of his mouth before anything else, and her fingers froze on the edge of his chin.

She was willing herself not to cry again, because she loved this man, and she couldn't let him know how much it hurt her to see him disappear.

_There, _she had admitted it again, _she loved him._

"Don't be Doctor, you'll still be…here, just in a different body right?" she said, trying to sound light hearted despite the gravity of this situation. She hoped her eyes wouldn't betray her.

He looked at her confused, as she tried to put some distance between them, his hand grabbing her wrist, the thought tumbling out, " Will you lie with me Clara?"

She couldn't help it but she gave him a raised look, and he began his fumbling speech again, "Oh no not like that! God, I would never-I didn't mean- Oh shut up!" And she let herself laugh again, truly and properly, knowing this might be the last time she ever saw that side of her doctor.

"I know, I know, I just love seeing your reaction. It's absolutely hilarious" she said, as she let her head hit the comfy mattress, staring up at the dark blue ceiling which was adorned with the language of the time lords, so beautiful and mystical. She wondered if she'd ever be back in here.

As she stared at the ceiling, taking it all in, he looked at her, for the last times with these green brown eyes, thinking over and over again just at how _beautiful _she is, his impossible girl. The way her hair is either up in a cute little bun, or flowing in chocolate colored waves around her face. Her bright smile, and cheeky grin, that have left him speechless so many times, the perfect bow-like shape of her lips. Not to even start with those dresses that she wore, especially the red ones, making him wish he wasn't so nervous around her, hoping for the day that he could be able to take her in his arms and kiss every inch of her impossibly perfect body.

_Tell me do you feel the same  
Hold me in your arms again_

"You are so impossible, Clara Oswin Oswald." he murmured now, his voice low and true, and she turned to look at him, the tears obvious in her eyes. His hands, almost instinctually, reached to cup her small face, bringing it closer to his, whispering to her, "Please don't cry, please, Clara, I'm not worth your precious tears. Sooner or later I'll just be another face, don't worry my impossible girl, you'll forget all about this clumsy doctor"

"_NO I won't!" _ She cried now, sitting up, as the waterworks began once again, but there was a rage beneath all of her tears, a passion, and her emotions were falling into the doctor's ears.

"and I _don't want to _either! Why? Why do you have to say things like that? I know you think that you'll just be another face, like the other 10 before you , but no, no, no, Doctor, I will only be _your _impossible girl, because who knows how your next body might turn out to be? I know it will be the Doctor with the thoughts and everything, but it won't be _you!_

It won't be the boy who dressed as a monk and made me say "Doctor who?" ten times just for his own amusement. It won't be the one who I travelled with to planets far off, the one who almost tore his TARDIS apart just to find me. He might have your thoughts Doctor, but he will never be the same man that _I fell in love with _right here right now. _ " _

_The same man that I fell in love with right here right now_

The words rang through the Doctor's mind and he felt his two hearts groan as another pang of the regeneration hit him, making him realize that he didn't have long now. He was sitting up then, grabbing Clara's teary face, and crushing his lips to hers, a desperate attempt to tell her everything that he was feeling because god knows; this was the only moment as a time lord in which he knew he didn't have time for anything else.

_I need your love  
I need your time_

_He's kissing me, oh my stars, he is actually kissing me. _Was what her brain gasped, as she froze a second there, the soft rough pressure of his lips on hers, bringing her out of it then, as her hands flew to his neck, her fingers then tangling in his messy hair, pulling him closer on their own accord, the rhythm of his hearts beating into her veins.

They tangled together, the golden glow pouring out of the doctor in fragments, but it didn't matter, he was kissing her and she was kissing him back, their tongues dancing together like they were long lost partners, and in some ways they were. He was on top of her, their bodies pressed together almost indefinitely, and she gasped for air, their lips breaking apart for a moment, letting her lungs _breathe in breathe out _as he left soft kisses along her neck.

"Doctor, Doctor, Do you know how long I have waited for you to do that?" She whispered in his ear, and he mumbled yes, the color of his ears a slight shade pinker, and she let herself laugh again, this time his rumbling laughter joining in, until they were both cuddling and laughing and he was once more pressing chaste kisses all over her face, saying that he would _never _get enough of her.

"Oh you just might you know, I can be quite a handful at times" she said teasingly, as she flipped them over, looking down at her chin boy.

"I dare you to try me, Clara Oswin Oswald." Her name on his lips enticing her ways she could never imagine, and that tone of his voice, she had dreamed of his voice saying her name like that, almost like the rarest of caresses, and her lips pressed to his once again, with more passion and vigor than before, trying to ignore the regeneration energy humming around them.

She was an undeniably brilliant kisser, and it was true, he couldn't get enough of her, as his hands skimmed up and down her sides, causing her to shiver and him to silently groan at the closeness of their bodies. Her slender fingers were now pushing off his jacket and sliding off his suspenders, and he barely noticed because he wanted this so very much badly that he should be embarrassed, but no, all he felt in that moment was love, pure and unconditional love for the girl who was making him feel all kinds of incredible.

He flipped her over then, and planting kisses up and down her neck, his hands slightly grazing her legs, seeing her eyes flutter open and close when he did. She looked so heavenly he realized, with her hair spread out on the blue bed sheet below them, her eyes shining and chest rhythmically going up and down. "Doctor," she mumbled, just as the shock of regeneration hit him, and he yelled, the pain sending a voltage through his both hearts.

"Doctor! Oh my stars, Doctor!" She said now, looking at him with absolute worry. No, No, No, he can't go now!

He could feel the energy coursing through him, running up and down his spine, rewriting everything about him, the great impact about to come in only minutes. How foolish had he been to think that he would have more time with his impossible girl. The universe doesn't make bargains he thought bitterly, as Clara's now teary eyed face loomed in his vision.

"I'm sorry Clara." He muttered, before he let out another gasp of pain, as she started to scream, "Please Please, NO, no no! Doctor No!"

"I can't help it my Impossible Girl, I have to go. This body has been good to me, but I have to go." The words sounded bitter and sad in his mouth, and she was whispering again to him, telling him to stay, to stay with her tonight.

"Just once doctor, please, create more time for us. Please, Please, _I love you. " _she broke, her heart racing.

He felt his eyes fill with tears as well, as he told her too, kissing her fingers, before tangling his hands in her silky hair and pulling her down on him, inhaling her scent of strawberries and soufflés and Clara. "_I love you Clara Oswin Oswald_. I love you my impossible girl, I don't know when the next time I will say this so I want to tell it to you now. I love you. I love you_. I love you, so much_."

Clara pressed her lips to his for what she knew might be the last time in a long while, savoring and memorizing the way his tongue moved with hers, the curve of his lips, the angles of his face as she ran over them with her fingers. She was holding him close, her heart pressed against his two, trying to change the immutable fact that he was going to leave her again.

The Doctor gasped as he neared the full regeneration process, knowing that Clara had to get out of the room otherwise she'd get hurt. He looked at her face again, telling himself that he will never forget his impossible girl.

"Clara, my impossible girl, you have to go now. " he groaned, as he sat up with pain, holding her face in his palms, "but promise me… promise me, that you'll give him a chance. The new me, I mean. I know he's different, but he still has the same thoughts, same brain as your clumsy man. Don't let him go, Clara, no matter what he says, he _needs _you. I need you. So please, My impossible girl, _don't let him go. "_ his voice was firm and strong, filled with love.

"I won't. I won't. "she said again and again, pressing her head into the crook of his neck.

"And Clara… "The pain was almost unbearable, "please, I know this might be too much to ask, but" another gasp, and Clara was crying now, wishing she could stop this somehow.

"anything Doctor, anything at all!" He'd done so much for her, she was willing to do anything for her now.

"Please Clara, my impossible girl, _please don't let me go." _His voice was weary, old, and tired, but filled with the truth, as the room now glowed with the regeneration energy.

"_NEVER." _She whispered, and he planted a chaste kiss to her lips as the next words spilled out of his mouth, knowing it was only in a matter of moments.

"You have to step away now Clara, the regeneration energy is incredibly strong, and it could hurt you. " he was panting now, as he pressed one last kiss to her forehead, "I love you, Clara Oswin Oswald, my impossible girl"

"I love you too, Chin Boy." She said sadly smiling, tears streaming down both of their faces.

This was it this was her goodbye, as she waved away at the sad man, who stood next to her one last time, before bursting into light, just as she closed the door behind her, her heart palpating.

She closed her eyes trying to remember everything about her drunk giraffe, hanging on especially to the slightest of whispers he had emitted right before the explosion, as she sunk down to the floor trying to ignore the yell that came from the inside. He was gone now, she knew. He was properly gone. He had to be, the word proved it.

And as time went on, Clara Oswald still hung on the 11th doctor's last word:

_"Geronimo." _

_And now my eyes are open  
And now my heart is closing_

**A short note from the eccentric author: **

Wow, my first one-shot thing, I just had to write it since I hit post limit on tumblr and **there were just so MANY whouffle feels** that I couldn't even breathe, with the 12th doctor being announced and all (peter capaldi btw and I know hes just going to be **FAB) **Anywho, the song that the lyrics are from is **I Need Your Love by Ellie Goulding **

I still can't believe that Matt is leaving in 2 episodes time! It hurts so much for me because I swear, I am in love with that boy, Doctor Who was a saving grace to me of sorts :(

ANYWAY, **THANKS FOR READING! And I would love to hear your opinions about anything and everything Doctor Who in the Reviews below or PM if you need to talk about whouffley stuff :D **

**And maybe tell me what you thought about this story.. you know..just as feed back :)**

**LOVE YOU GUYS, **

**Xx Margo**


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